mom.
Honestly, it’s really weird.
And maybe one day when I have a better grasp of my thoughts and feelings I can put it all into words, but for now I think that statement says it all.
It has been surreal. Emotionally draining.
I miss mom. Sometimes it’s just a soft hum in the background, other times it’s so in your face that you can’t help but cry.
For those of you who have not met or known my mom, I wish you had. As clichéd as this sounds, she was definitely one of a kind. She had such a huge heart for everyone and an amazing listener. Everyone went to mom to talk and if not in person, my mom would be on the phone with them or texting them. She loved her family to the moon and back. Her relationship with my dad was also extra special, and I will always look up to that. Her strong faith and never-ending love for the Lord is something that I also look up to and strive for.
Trust me, she was one special lady. If you don’t believe me, you should talk to the people around me. The many lives she touched and impacted. So many people came to her funeral that even the funeral director was taken aback how many people were there - 400+. She was so so loved.
If you didn’t get a chance to attend the Celebration of Life or watch it live, the video is below (the service starts at the 1 hour 17 minute mark). The service was absolutely beautiful and you get a chance for a glimpse of what Mom’s life was like and the legacy she leaves behind.
Mom,
I miss you dearly, we all do. But we know that you are in a MUCH better place and that you are so happy now with our Lord. Can’t wait to sing and dance with you up there one day! And don’t you worry - I am watching dad’s kerupuk intake.
We will keep your legacy going mom and finish the race as you did.
Love,
Kim
I also want to take this time to say thank you to some people in my life who has really been such an amazing support system for me the past months, those who have been there for my mom and the entire family, and also to those who made the beautiful services possible.
Ruth - You have taught me what it means to be a friend and re-emphasize the meaning of friends becoming family. Thank you for everything you’ve done - from being there whenever I needed someone to talk to even till the wee hours of the morning, for dropping everything to come be with me that day and for taking over everything at the house, to helping run everything for mom’s services and literally not letting me lift a finger. You will always be another Winardi sister (mom would agree) and I am so thankful for you.
And shoutout to Ryan for all your help and letting me steal your wife for a bit. Sorry that you both will be forever stuck with me.
Sammy - You also dropped everything to come be with me that day, and for that I am forever grateful. I am so thankful for your friendship, for always being present, and for all your check ups. Love you forever friend!
Mo - Thank you for being a soundboard for the past months and for being a champ when I start bawling my eyes out. Thank you for always reminding me to look at the positives in everything and for being there through all the good and bad.
Extended family - Thank you for your love and support always. From those in Indonesia who came to be with mom and support the family, to those in Calgary who came to be with our family, and to those who can’t be there in person but prayed for us and checked up on us daily. We love you all.
My church family - I have so much gratitude for you all. I am so blessed that God has given me an amazing extended family here in Canada who has been there for our family through the good and the back. Thank you for always praying for our family, for checking up, for keeping our fridge so stoked with so many amazing food. Thank you for helping put together such a beautiful service for mom. I know she looked down and was so proud and will always be proud to see this amazing, strong, close-knit community. A special shout out to the tante tantes who are like second moms to me and Jen, thank you for all that you do and continue to do. To my DOXA family, thank you for being there for Jen and I, and also for singing with us mom’s favourite song.
To my friends who went above and beyond - those who sent beautiful flowers to the home, those who sent love and a precious gift from across the border, those who called in person to chat and wish condolences. To my friends at work who sent flowers, donated on behalf of mom, made sure to check up on me consistently. And those who came to attend the services too and be there for me and the family, for all the texts and all the hugs, I am so grateful and just blessings back to you all.
Thank you for all your love, support and your prayers.
I’ll be back on the blog and writing more consistently - Mom loved this blog and really pushed for me to keep writing, and that I will do.